August - Chronic Illness Support

How To Support or Encourage Someone with Chronic Illness By Lena McCullum, RN  

Last month was Chronic Illness Awareness month and this month’s topic will discuss ways to help you encourage or support someone with chronic illness. The key to supporting someone with a chronic illness is to have a basic understanding of your role as the caregiver or encourager and the needs of the person with the chronic illness. There are examples of chronic illness supporters/encouragers in the Bible, so this is not a new concept.

• Matthew 8:5-13-NIV- Talks about The Faith of the Centurion- He interceded for his servant.
• Mark 2:1-12 NIV-Jesus heals a paralytic. His friends lowered him through a hole in the roof to get him to Jesus.
• John 11:1-37 NIV-Mary and Martha’s faith during Lazarus’ illness, death and resurrection.
• Ecclesiastes 4:9-10-NIV- Shows an example of Humanity and Relationships. “Two are better than one, because they have a good return for their work: If one falls down, his friend can help him up. But pity the man who falls and has no one to help him up!  

You are a caregiver or encourager if you help someone with any of the following:

• Personal hygiene assistance
• Transportation to appointments
• Medical condition monitoring
• Actively listening and providing social connection to prevent loneliness
• Getting in and out of beds or chairs
• Getting dressed, bathed or showered
• Managing finances
• Completing housework
• Grocery shopping
• Advocating for them with providers
• Managing medications Meal preparation

Caregivers/encouragers need to take care of themselves and be aware of the signs of Caregiver/encourager burnout:

• Fatigue
• Anxiety
• Depression
• Withdrawal from loved ones
• Feelings of hopelessness
• Grief for a friend, spouse or partner they lost to death.
• Grief for someone’s companionship due to a mental disability.
• More frequent illness
• Frustration, irritability, and anger
• Decreased sleep quality
• Avoiding calling or checking on someone or not inviting them to attend events.
• Resentment of personal time invested

Suggestions for avoiding caregiver/encourager burnout:

• Join a support group network
• Seek counseling or similar mental health support
• Ask for help from family, friends or other resources
• Respite care for primary care givers

Keys to Supporting/Encouraging Someone with Chronic Illness:

• Educate and Prepare Yourself to provide informed support. Research the Basics and search out reliable sources to study up on the condition.
• Know their rights and accommodations available to them and help them gain access to those accommodations. Example-Disabilities Rights.
• Practice Good Communication and Active Listening to create a safe space for them to express their needs and concerns.
• Ask open-ended questions about their understanding of their current illness.
• Be honest and direct with them but share your concerns gently.

Learn skills for discussing hard topics:

1. Choose the right time and place. Ensure privacy and enough time to avoid interruptions.
2. Use “I” Statements: Focus on your own feelings and observations rather than making assumptions and judgements.
3. Practice Active Listening: Share important points then, stop, look and listen.
4. Clarify and Summarize: This shows that you are paying attention to what they have just shared.
5. Ask How You Can Help: Rather than saying: “Let me know if you need anything,” be specific in offering help.
6. Invite Ongoing Conversations: Encourage them to follow up with you later if they think of more ways you can help.
7. Before speaking, use this acronym from Lisa Copen’s book, “Beyond Casseroles-505 ways to Encourage a Chronically Ill Friend”:

•  T - Is it true?
•  H - Is it helpful?
• I - Is it inspiring?
• N - Is it necessary?
• K- Is it kind?

Examples of Practical Daily Living Assistance to help make life more manageable:

• Help plan low-stress activities.
• Reduce the stimuli in the environment your loved one spends time in. Always have a backup plan based on how they are feeling that day.
• Manage chores and daily tasks if you are a caregiver to a spouse. Dividing the household chores based on their energy levels, physical capabilities and mental capabilities.  
• Use the many automated tools available, like auto pay for bills or grocery delivery services.  

References:

1. CarolineNiederman.com Becoming a Patient Care Advocate
2. “Beyond Casseroles-505 Ways to Encourage a Chronically Ill Friend” by Lisa J. Copen.

 About The Author:

Lena McCullum is a retired Registered Nurse with over fifty years of experience. Areas of clinical experience included Medical Surgical nursing, Intensive Care, Emergency Room, Post Anesthesia Care, and Behavioral Health.  Nurse Management positions included Medical-Surgical, Emergency room and Post Anesthesia Care and Patient Care Coordinator in Behavioral Health.  She currently serves as the Servant Leader of the Health and Wellness Ministry and Chronic Illness Support Group.